It's been a weird couple of days letting it all sink in. I worked hard for this race, 9 months of training, special diets, etc. I think I thought that the world would maybe look different after I finished. In a few ways I was a little disappointed. Experiencing disappointment wasn't part of my training schedule.....so why was this happening? It got me thinking about the simplicity of the race.
I was all reved up to have this life changing moment the second I crossed the finish line on Sunday. I even planned the dance I would do once I had "reached my goal". What I didn't realize was that my life changing moment happened over the course of time. It wasn't the race that made me a half marathoner, it was all the hard work and preparation that I had put in over the course of the last 9 months that changed me. I was moulded and shaped by every Km I ran through wind, snow, ice, fatigue, joy, anger, and pain.
When I started the race on Sunday I was already a 1/2 marathoner, the race didn't suddenly define who I was, it was the product of who I had become. I've pushed through when the going was tough. I've bought and stunk up the running gear. I've headed out to run when the rest of the world was wrapped up in blankets with a cup of coffee to stay warm. I've beaten the voices in my head that told me I could never make 14Km let a lone 21Km. I've learned how to balance my protein and carbohydrate intake to maximize my performance. I've had bad weeks where I didn't run at all but got back on the band wagon the following week.
In looking back on my disappointment and reflecting- I thought I was going to be a different person once that finishers medal was draped around my neck but in reality I never realized the simple fact that I was already a different person when I started the race. In fact- the whoop I let out as I started the race was bigger than the joy I had when I finished. At the start line I was already changed. I held within myself the discipline, determination, and preparation required to cross the finish line and it felt awesome!!!
This week I've learned: It's not always about the finish line but rather it's about the preparation to exuberantly know you can confidently stand at the starting line. Getting to the starting line is sometimes the hardest part.
What are your goals? What's going to get you to your starting line? I hope that at the beginning of your "race" you can let out the same enthusiastic "whoop!" that I did- knowing you have prepared for your moment and have the ability to finish.
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